For the past twelve years I’ve worked my hardest in order to further my education at a university and fulfill the plans God has for me. When I finally made it, nothing could over shadow the excitement that I could barely contain. I had a very sheltered view of college. I expected to go to class, study in my dorm, eat meals in the cafeteria and hang out with friends when time permitted. However, when I arrived I began to see that college truly isn’t that black and white.
Teachers give you a syllabus and expect it to be complete by the end of the semester, your dorm mates beside you, above you and even below you keep you up all night with music continuously thumping through the walls, there’s so much to do you forget to eat, and even when you hang out with friends you’re thinking about the millions of things you have to do in order to graduate. The first week of school revealed the world in burst of colors I thought I was ready to experience but instead of adapting, I spent the first couple of days numb to any distinct feeling until finally I broke down.
I can’t remember a time in high school where I felt this type of stress or cried so many tears. I could feel myself becoming fearful of everything but the one that was clear was failure in my future. After one week my peace of mind was completely shattered. I decided to go home for the weekend as a way to escape, but secretly hoping I wouldn’t have to go back. In the car, the song above popped in to my head and I realized that I was letting the devil get the best of me, but letting him scare me away from the blessing God has for me. It was then I decided that fear was no longer something I was going to allow to consume me.
As stated in one of my previous posts “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end” (Jeremiah 29:11) but even when children of God are in His will there are going to be times when we are afraid of where He is going to take us and how we’re going to get there, but the Bible says “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). We were not meant to be fearful of anything but God himself so whenever we are, we have to immediately cast that negative emotion out and replace it with the joy He gave us. This song inspired me to confront the fear that’s been tormenting me this past week and say goodbye to it for good. I am now ready to return to school from the long weekend and claim what God has in store for me over the next four years. Enjoy!
#'nuffsaid
